Nowadays the importance, purpose, and shape of a family seems to differ from one home to the next. While some families preach the importance of being together and tackling life's hardships as one, not all families practice such ideas. Some families are defined by a father, mother, and children while others are made up of a number of relatives such as grandparents, aunts, uncles, and even cousins. On the flip side, other families are made up of simply a mom and her child. Modern times have changed social roles, provided an unsettled economy, and as time has passed, the meaning of family has simply imploded. The definition of a standard family is no longer religion-based in most people's minds, but more so based on political and economic situations.
In the last few years, marriage rates, divorce rates, and even birthrates have all dropped, despite the fact that many of us are used to hearing that some of these numbers are actually on the rise. But, in time's of uncertainty, it seems that many of us put our lives on hold in some way or another. When we push the brakes on life and push things such as pregnancy, marriage, and even divorce to the side, the number of families not only decreased but so does the overall quality of family life.
Moving Out Only To Move Back In
We typically expect a family to be made up of parents and their children, but we expect that in time, when the children are old enough to go to college, they move out, grow, learn, and venture the world that is before them. Moving out of your parent's home has always been deemed as a necessary step in growing up and obtaining your own sense of independence. Not many twenty year olds in today's world want to admit that they are still living with mom and dad as it's not the "cool" or "grown up" thing to do and being a social non-start is never good for the ego. So with such thoughts in mind, many college students opt to attend college away from home, leaving behind obvious stability and safety.
As Dr. Lowrance expained, "Some countries have laws that make the parents take their grown children back in and support them until they have an eduction or get a job. By law they have to pay for their kids' food and housing. That delays personal development. Nobody will ever grow up if they're taken care of perpetually by their parents."
But, in today's world, with foreclosure rates exploding, unemployment rates growing at tremendous rates, and jobs paying less and less, though college students may be moving out, they're also moving back in. A study conducted by Twentysomething Inc. discovered that 85% off 2011's graduating class will be moving back home not too long after earning their college degree. Earning a degree should be a time of celebration and pride, but earning a degree in today's world comes with an average cost of $27,200 in debt.
Today Families Akin To The Waltons?
[caption id="" align="alignleft" width="275" caption="Publicity photo of Richard Thomas and Ellen Corby from the television program The Waltons."][/caption]
At the same time that college students are moving back in with mom and dad, so are other relatives. As Dr. Don Lowrance explained, the modern American family may be revisiting families of the past. "If the economy continues to worsen, we're going to have more of a 1940's lifestyle, and we'll see more and more of this. Those types of families, where hopefully Grandma and Grandpa are there in a supporting role, but they're part of the family unit, and they're not some place else where you see them once or twice a year."
Dr. Lowrance has first-hand, personal experience with this old-fashioned type of family where many generations live under the same roof. Though his daughter and son-in-law never asked for him to move in, Lowrance holds family to a high value and believed that by moving in, his grand daughter wouldn't suffer from the hectic life of having a mother working a full time job and a father attending college for an engineering degree. This way, everyone in the family is taken care of and though many would frown upon having their parents move in, in some cases nowadays, having extra parental and familial care is best.
As he explained his situation, "They were going to do this regardless. We saw a need and we offered the idea to them and then had to talk them into it. We could see that my grand daughter would be the one who would suffer in all this and we didn't want our grand daughter to be in a day care center and not have the care of a family member and instead be cared for by a hired helper."
With such busy schedules and fast-paced life, having extra support is a must in many households today, no matter if it means moving back in, allowing a family member to live with you, or simply accepting the fact that the road to adulthood and complete independence is much longer than it ever has been. Even in today's world, the most driven and go-getter people have to rely upon others for help. And while many may see it as shameful, life today has changed when compared to how life was before. With a shaky economic situation and continuous changes in government and banking policies, independence can take much more time to achieve. But in the end, such changes may not be completely negative, as tough times usually allow for the importance of family and relationships to shine brighter than ever.
Ashley Pages is a writing superstar for Off-Topic Media. Special thanks to Dr. Don Lowrance, a Corpus Christi sleep apnea dentist, father, and grand father, for sharing his thoughts with us. He can be reached at:
Don H. Lowrance, DDS
4707 Everhart Road #101
Corpus Christi, TX 78411
(361) 851-8274
Why Family Trees are Important
[caption id="attachment_1771" align="alignright" width="250" caption="Download this free family tree template and have your kids decorate it with family photos!"][/caption]
It's important to really know where our students are coming from. When we take the time to get to know our students they know that we care for them. When they feel cared for, they feel safe and this is the ideal environment for learning.
Seeing a child's family tree can help us really understand the child's history. While teaching, sensitive issues can come up and if we understand the world of the child we are better able to protect the child from painful circumstances.
For example, if during a bike safety orientation you noticed that Katie looked sad, you may just think she was having a bad day. However, if at the beginning of the year you had sent home the family tree craft you would learn that her mother was killed by a wreck-less driver while biking.
So, before the orientation you would know that it would help Katie feel supported and cared for if you sat next to her. We may learn some information from previous teachers, but there may be more information we can find out to help the student. Many teachers don't view teaching as just teaching academics, we truly have the opportunity to help children through achievements and the difficult circumstances of life.
Family Tree Sensitivity & Confidentiality
This is an assignment I'd recommend we keep confidential. I also recommend not grading it. We have the opportunity to find out valuable information that will help us better understand and help the child and his/her family. Putting the family tree inside the child's confidential file (in a locked file cabinet) and later putting the family tree inside the end of the year Memory Book (which I first discussed in the Star Student Bulletin Board article), is a way for the child to look back and remember how he/she felt supported and understood by his/her classroom teacher.
It's also important to keep the child's family information strictly confidential and not discuss it with teachers, other parents or students. Even if we feel like we need to de-stress or the person needs to know, it's not a good idea to discuss this information. We were trusted with confidential information for the purpose of helping the child. Most of the time, telling anyone else won't do them any good and may end up hurting the child or parent because their trust was broken.
When I worked as a school counselor (before I was a kindergarten & 2nd grade teacher) I knew how to keep confidentiality really well. Over the years, I've found that some teachers can do this and others aren't so hot at it. When we hear talk in the teachers' lounge it's a good idea to just walk away. Doing this can keep our conscious clear and out of trouble. We've got too much to do anyway.
Parent/Teacher Conferences
During parent/teacher conferences I found that it was helpful to keep the family tree in the student's file. Before the meeting, I reviewed the family tree. Doing this helped me remember how the family may have been feeling. This helped me feel more prepared between meetings. I was able to clear my mind and remember the details concerning the next family before they walked in the door.
Homework
This is a project that would work well for homework because sensitive issue may/or may not be brought up. Some families enjoy this project and want to share it with everyone. They may not feel really sensitive about anything at all. Others enjoy it, even though it may bring up sensitive issues and find that it's a healing and bonding experience with their child. Some don't enjoy it, but complete it anyway.
There's always a possibility that you won't get it back. I do not recommend marking the child's grade down if you don't get it back. I'd just use it as an indicator that there may be some pain there or there's just too much going on right now to deal with it.
A Family Tree is Kind of Like Thanksgiving
Alright, we all know that some people love the holidays and just can't wait until Thanksgiving dinner. Others dread it like the plague. The family tree can be like that. Maybe during 2nd grade Joey loved making his family tree, but after his uncle died during 3rd grade he didn't enjoy it.
Just like the holidays, family trees bring up family stuff. It's best if we know what's going on, so we know how to help the kids.
Materials:
- Free "Family Tree" Craft Template
- Family Tree Leaves (glue photographs or illustrations of family members inside the leaves.)
- Scissors
- Glue
- Crayons
- Photographs (Of family members cut into circles. Some people include pets.)
Directions:
Create a short note to parents and send the project home for homework. I'd encourage the children to ask their parents for photographs, but if they aren't able to get a photograph the student can draw a picture of the family member.
- Color the background blue.
- Draw grass and/or flowers.
- Color the tree brown.
- Color & cut out the leaves.
- Glue the photographs inside the leaves and label them (e.g. "Grandma").
- Glue the leaves onto the tree. The child can be placed in the middle of the tree and the family is on the branches.
- Ask the parent(s) to write a short note letting you know of any "Notes About Our Family". You may choose to have them put the notes inside a sealed envelope which will be turned in with the family tree in a manila envelope. It may be helpful to read these confidential notes and shred them afterwards. That way you know they remain confidential.
Tree Template Alternative Craft Ideas:
The template can also be used to create a couple of other crafts.
- Autumn Tree - Use the template to create a tree full of green, orange, yellow and red leaves. You can use this craft to compliment a lesson on photosynthesis.
- Spring Cherry Blossom Tree - Trace the tree template onto brown construction paper. Glue onto blue construction paper. Create cherry blossoms using squares of pink & white tissue paper. This is perfect for kindergarten or 1st grade.
